Nice Shot, I Suck, Now What?

Hi everyone, 

I know I did a golf essay last week, but since it’s Masters Week I wanted to make this month’s mailbag about golf. 

I received a handful of golf-related inquiries, but wanted to share three that highlight the psychology of the golfer’s mindset . 

Because I work nights, I’m usually playing golf as a single and therefore get grouped up with lots of strangers. They don’t know me or my skill level, but more times than not people will say “nice shot” after I hit a shot that I don’t like. How can I politely acknowledge them to stop? 

Bob S.

From what I understand, you don’t like when people say an iteration of “nice shot” when you’re not happy with the shot. Totally makes sense. 

Playing golf presents opportunities to spend four hours with new people and unless you’re in a foursome of friends, you’ll likely be paired with a total stranger. This person knows nothing about your personality and demeanor. More importantly he doesn’t know your expectations for your golf game. 

This means he doesn’t know how you’ll interpret a comment of “nice shot.”

For example, you could stripe a drive 300 yards and receive a “nice shot”, but be irked knowing that your drive ended up in a fairway bunker. Perhaps you attempt a 10 foot putt for par that you leave one revolution short. As you stare the ball down in dismay, and reluctantly walk up to tap in your bogey, you hear “nice effort” or “nice roll”. 

Since you know your own game better, you have different parameters for what constitutes it as a “nice shot”.

You’re allowed to be disappointed with these shots and therefore I recommend tuning out the words of encouragement. 

But that’s easier said than done. 

Since the “nice shot” comment is dissonant with how you feel, you might get frustrated. If you’re having a string of bad holes, an ill-timed “nice shot” could be the trigger that sets you in a spiral of anger.

This is where you have to remove your ego and step in the stranger’s shoes. Think about his intentions about why he says “good shot.”

One reason might be projection. In his eyes, that’s a good shot for him.

Another reason might be he’s trying to make new friends, keeping the positive banter going as a way to be personable.

When you’re peeved at someone saying “good shot”, just remember - he’s not being sarcastic, not trying to get a laugh, and certainly not trying to be mean. 

You can save face by saying a polite “thank you”. Perhaps if you don’t say anything and look away, they’ll get the hint. 

But my overall point is that the intention of saying “good shot” comes from a good place and independent of your pride. How you respond - whether letting it get to me or ignoring it - will say a lot about your mental game. 

My friends and I just came back from a boys trip in Kiawah. The Ocean Course used to be the main expensive golf course, but now the other ones on the island have increased in price as well. With flights, accommodations, transport, tee times, etc - the long weekend cost around $5000. 

Now I knew the price going into last weekend, but what made me second guess whether it was worth it was my golf game. I’m an 8 handicap, but this weekend I sucked. I know the courses are hard, but I was expecting to play great and then I choked. I shot in the mid-90s for several rounds. Couldn’t break 100 at the Ocean Course to save my life. 

I spent so much money on golf, so why the hell couldn’t I play well? 

Jeff D.

I’m gonna drop a scary truth bomb. Golf is the only sport where the amount of resources you put towards the game - both time and money - don’t guarantee improvement. I think that’s one of the many ways golf can be a cruel investment. 

Like that of lessons, gadgets, and new clubs, big money spent on tee times can feel like sunk cost if you’re missing your A-game. 

But your specific situation is a pause in the normal ways we spend money in golf. This isn’t your normal Saturday local course where you have to run errands afterwards. You're on vacation with the boys!

You’re also at Kiawah, playing resort courses and a championship course that hosts majors. 

A rule of thumb is to never enter or leave a boys trip unhappy. These opportunities to reunite with a group of old friends don't come often, so I wouldn’t want your poor golf play to inhibit enjoying the present and building memories.

You’re correct. It does sucks when you step up to the first tee and suddenly… your swing is gone! It sucks even more when that carries the entire trip. 

But your concern about greens fees are moot considering they don’t entitle you to play well. Paying several hundred dollars provides no guarantee or contractual obligation that your score will meet or exceed your expectations.

What the fee should entitle you to is a beautiful, hallowed, gorgeously manicured course with state of the art clubhouses, restaurant, and facilities. In other words, you’re paying all that money for an adult playground which serves as a backdrop to spend cherished time with your friends. 

If your scorecards validate the money spent or determine your level of enjoyment, then you need to change that attitude. 

I just shot the best round of my life. Now what? 

Aaron D. 

Short and sweet. I guess you left this open ended. 

I don’t know now what?. Do you want to retire on top :) ?

In all seriousness - Congratulations! Achieving a new apex for your game can be a huge confidence booster and lead to appreciating the growth in your game over time. 

If you wrote this while walking off the 18th hole (which if you did, I’m honored), I would bask in the moment. Text your golf buddies, buy a round of drinks for your foursome, and post a pic of that scorecard on social media. Be proud of this milestone. 

Having your best round comes with an enticing paradox of time -  to live in the moment while simultaneously jonesing to play your next round. 

But in your next round, don’t expect to have a repeat performance, because that will feed into unrealistic expectations and lead to undue stress. 

My sobering reminder is that having the round of your life doesn’t mean you “figured out” your game. 

Our career best rounds usually consist of some array of beneficial breaks and bounces (off trees, through bunkers) of which fortune might not repeat next time. That’s why we want to note the variables that we had control over.  

Use this round as a window to view the tools used to play great. 

• How was your course management and strategy? 

• How was your headspace? 

• If you had a bad hole, did you let it go and move on? 

• If you had a good hole, were you hungry to repeat on the next hole?

• Did you have a consistent pre-shot and post-shot routine? 

It’s great to be optimistic and have high hopes going into the next round, but only if you’ve assessed the previous round not just in and of the score, but rather the story of your round that led to the score.